Today it's snowing on my son's grave. He was born on this day thirty-eight years ago. It was the happiest day of my life, next to my marriage of Robert's father and my eternal sweetheart! I love them both, more now than I thought it would be possible to then.
My husband Ron is still the BEST thing that has ever happened to me. And from my son Robert, who chose to die on this day, I have learned the MOST important lessons we came to this earth to learn. I have learned lessons of Christ's love and of His atonement that I could never have experienced otherwise.
Last night I had a sweet dream. I spent a long time with a very kind and wonderful young man. It seemed as though we walked along a river or lake. That is all I remember--walking and talking with this sweet man. I don't know if it was my son--I hope it was my son. But I do remember the kindness he showed to me, and I woke with a warm, sweet feeling!
I don't think I can visit the grave today. It's not where I find the most peace, because my son in not there. Years before he died, when he was a very difficult teenager, I prayed to know if I had been given a Laman or a Lemuel. An answer FIRED back into my mind that NO, he was an Alma the Younger! That has given me more peace and comfort than almost anything else these long twelve years since he died.
I have to believe, I want to believe, and in my heart of hearts I do believe, that he is now like the great prophet Alma--busy teaching, preaching and helping others come to know of our Savior Jesus Christ! I do know that God lives. I do know that we live on after death! My son's death has come so close to Easter this year, and it has been a reminder that because of Jesus Christ, he will live again--I will live again--we all will live, because of Jesus! Thank dear blessed Lord! Thank you!
This has been a month filled with the best of times, and the worst of times. Life is almost always like that! I haven't blogged for awhile, because I have been in the middle of a project that Ron says, has made me happier than he's seen me in years! It is a project that I can't wait to share with all of you, and the Lord willing, many, many others! News of it will be coming soon!
And, the very best thing of all, is the birth of our sweet new granddaughter Anne! Pictures and her story will be coming soon too! So stay tuned!
And, to my Robert if he gets to read this: God Bless you and comfort you, and all those who love you, today my son!